The Key to Confidence
Written by Jolene Murphy, 17 years old
As a teenage girl, being confident hasn't always been the easiest, and I'm sure many of you can relate to this struggle at some point in your life. In my experience, feelings of insecurity and self-doubt have always gotten in the way of my confidence. I always worried about what other people thought and allowed that bad habit to have power over me. I was always scared that others could see all the things I didn't like about myself. I think many women tend to focus on their insecurities rather than all the good qualities they can project into the world. However, what I’ve learned, is that at the end of the day, everyone is truly just worried about themselves, and no one will ever be able to see your insecurities as deeply as you do. I remind myself to never compare. We are all different in our own ways, so strive to be the best version of yourself! No one was made to be the same. I can admit that my self-confidence is definitely still developing, but I have seen some major improvements recently. Here are some of the tips that have helped me get to where I am today:
Step 1: Affirmations.
Be kind to yourself. Wake up every morning and use some positive self-talk and affirmations. My favorites are that I am smart, brave, and unstoppable. The more you say it to yourself, the closer you are to realizing that it's true!
Step 2: Find something you're good at.
I've always loved to paint. I love finishing a painting and being able to see what I’ve accomplished. No matter how big or small, pick up a hobby that makes you feel successful!
Step 3: Challenge yourself.
Step outside your comfort zone. It can be as little as raising your hand to ask a question or as big as performing on stage in front of your whole school. For me, I try to present in class first. Nerve-racking for sure, but definitely confidence-boosting! You're always capable of more than you think.
Step 4: Be yourself.
Stop living for the validation of others! Wear whatever outfit you feel best in, and do the things that make you feel good about yourself. The key to confidence is to avoid comparison. Confidence isn't about looking like anyone else; it's about being the best version of yourself.
Step 5: Fake it until you make it!
Your confidence builds over time; it won't happen overnight. There will be some days when you don't feel confident enough. One thing about confidence is that no one will ever be able to tell if it's real or not, so fake it until you make it! The more you practice, the more naturally it will come to you.
Remember that building self-confidence is a journey; it comes with time. Everyone has struggled at some point, and it's okay to have a day where you don't feel your best. There is always tomorrow and plenty of room for you to try again! Always know how much worth you have; believe in yourself. You've got this!
About Jolene Murphy:
Jolene is 17 years old and attends North Rockland High School. She loves the beach, the ukulele, and art.