Love Yourself First - Never Settle for Anything Less Than What You Deserve

-Dawn Phillips, Owner of Dawns Conscious Living & Lifestyle Coaching

Every young girl dreams of finding Mr. Right. What they don’t realize is when searching, most times, they end up with Mr. Wrong. A man after your own heart will seek you out. There should never be a time in any woman’s life where she finds the need to chase after a man.

Sometimes, we as women (both young and old) get caught up in the need to have companionship. Possibly because we feel lonely. Maybe we feel as though we need a man to make us whole. The problem is, we don’t need a man to accomplish anything we set our hearts and minds to completing.

Before you decide to be in a committed relationship, you must first know self-love. If you love yourself first, you will understand that you can live your life, be happy, and accomplish your goals alone. You will also be less tolerable of putting up with nonsense such as controlling behavior. You must analyze yourself first to see what areas you need to improve upon before you can add another person into the equation.

Coming from a place of abuse or the absence of a positive male role model, it is easy for a woman to seek out a man who will love them as they feel they need to be loved. In most cases, men prey on these women and know their areas of weakness. They know how vulnerable they are and that their self-esteem is low.

The key to avoiding the entrapment of being in a bad relationship is knowing your worth and loving the skin you are in. I’m not just talking about saying you don’t deserve to be treated in a manner that is belittling, but believing you deserve nothing but the best. Don’t settle for anything less. Do not compromise your values. It is never okay for a man to beat on you or cheat on you. Physical, mental, and emotional abuse are never okay, and contrary to what you might be told, it is not your fault.

Being okay with being alone is the first step in preparing yourself for a healthy relationship. Look at having a man in your life as an added value rather than a necessity. There are plenty of successful, strong, independent single women out there that don’t rely on a man for their happiness. They have found happiness within themselves.

Once you have truly become one with yourself, that man of your dreams will be sent to you. It will be when you least expect it. That man will love you and accept you for who you are. He will understand your worth. He will see the need to put you up on that pedestal. He will treat you as his equal, his partner rather than treating you as if you are beneath him. He will brag about you to his friends and he will never be ashamed to acknowledge you in public.

How do I know? I am one of those women. I am a domestic violence survivor of more than 20 years. I went through multiple failed relationships (beginning in high school) and, two abusive marriages before I decided enough is enough. I felt I could not be alone and that I needed to have a man in my life. It wasn’t until I took a hiatus from men for three years that I realized I was okay being by myself. I did some much-needed soul searching and self-identifying during that time. I had to learn to love myself; something that I had not been capable of doing.