What’s with all the expectations?

By Victoria Zervoudis

College is a really unique time in a girl’s life. There are so many things to be figured out. One’s social life, academics, family time, and wellness are only some of the many areas of life navigated during this new time. What doesn’t help this balance is the expectation that college will be “the best 4 years of your life!” or the time when you’ll “meet your lifelong friends!” or even where “you will find yourself.” These expectations are daunting and so hardly recognized that they seem to be almost impossible.

How many times do we hear people talk about how hard it really is? Why is it so rare to hear anyone acknowledge the struggle that is built into what is supposed to be “the experience of a lifetime”? And the guilt that comes with not feeling like you are doing it “correctly?” As someone who has had a rocky start, I would love for the conversation to feel more open and not be shut down by “it’ll get better” or “you’ll meet better friends eventually” because the truth is, when you feel like the world is crumbling before you, these words hold little value, even though they are meant to be encouraging.

I understand that college is a precious experience to so many people, but for some, it feels like more of a burden than a joyous time, and I think this version of the experience needs to be heard and accepted. As someone who is currently going through this, when asked how college is, I find that I feel like I’m disappointing everyone when I respond with the fact that it is “fine” for me and that “I am getting through.” Let’s shift the conversation. Let’s be honest.

As someone who has compared her own experiences to that of others, I am ready to stop this and just live my life. My struggle is exactly that; my own. It is unfair to myself to expect to feel any other way. It is more than okay and normal not to be in the same place as my peers and by being honest about our experiences, we’ll empower others to do the same. Enjoy your life, live each day as it comes, and block the outside noise; it’ll always be there, but it’s up to you to think positively and love your life for exactly what it is at each and every stage.

If you can relate to any of this, I hear you and you are definitely not alone. Give yourself some grace and Keep Going!