It’s Okay Not to Have it All Figured Out.

-Alexa Vargas, 20 years old, Junior at University of Massachusetts Amherst

*Beep*

*Beep*

*Beep*

That was the sound of my alarm on the cloudy late summer morning of August 24th, 2020. That was the sound of reality. 

Reality hit early this year. I don’t usually feel reality settling in until mid-September. Ever since classes began, I’ve noticed a shift in my mindset. Of course, my mindset is going to shift because I have to transition into “academic mode,” but I’ve noticed that my mind is taking a different route, one I never thought would happen. 

One word.

Entrepreneurship.

The thought of entrepreneurship has been weighing heavy on my mind. I constantly find myself up until three in the morning, accompanied by the sound of noisy crickets and the soft chirps of the early birds, imagining what the future of my reality will become.

When the pandemic kicked me out of school and made me a broke college student living at home just like everyone else, I was devastated. I was a second-semester sophomore finally figuring out my major, working three jobs, and applying to internships. Life was good! I applied for an internship with United Talent Agency. In January, the company paid for my flight to Beverly Hills to attend their exclusive Recruitment Externship where I networked with UTA agents and students all over the U.S. I also contacted the Chief Marketing Officer at the Marketing and New Business Development at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I was offered the opportunity to work there for the semester to explore my interests as it related to my field of study: Advertising & Marketing Communications. Both of these opportunities were canceled due to the sudden evacuation of campus and jobs. 

One word. 

Discouraged.

I felt discouraged because everything that I was working towards had suddenly come crashing down right before my eyes. 

I felt discouraged because it felt as though time had stopped but life kept going. I felt like I was running out of time.

“Running out of time for what?” My mother asked. 

I say running out of time because I always compare myself to other people my age. Although I’m only a junior in college, I always want to be ahead of the game!

Nonetheless, I still felt grateful I had a home to come to, and a place to continue working for the rest of the semester. I finished the semester strong and thought life would resume to our “normal.” 

I was wrong. Life has not been normal ever since March. I’ve had to adapt to the “new normal” and create a joy-filled environment, having fun this summer, enjoying the blazing summer days and cool nights, despite the circumstances Covid-19 has brought upon us. 

August 24th, 2020.

First day of junior year. It was bittersweet for me. I was excited to start classes again to give myself that routine, but I began to have this melancholy feeling because I was in my third year of college and still had no idea what I wanted to do. This meant I had to work extra hard to figure out my future career path. The first step in that process was thinking to myself, “Am I investing money into my education for myself or to work for someone else?” 

The idea of entrepreneurship has always felt like something that was unattainable, especially for a young woman of color, like me. 

My mother always told me that I needed to go to school, get my degree, and eventually get a job working for someone else. After all, that’s what I grew up knowing. You go to primary school, secondary school, then college, get your degree and get a job, right?

I began to think about entrepreneurship when I came across two women on TikTok who have a social media marketing business. The power of social media is influential. It’s had a dominating impact on me beginning with the content that I choose to watch which led me to purchase a mentorship program. I thought to myself “Why not learn about what I want to do from actual entrepreneurs who will teach me about marketing and business, instead of learning it from a professor’s perspective?” The power of social media has motivated me to invest in my education as well as skill sets to make myself more marketable to clients when I launch a business of my own one day. 

More recently, my mom has recognized that this educational route has been instilled in society for generations. As I learn from the two women on TikTok, I realize that I can achieve anything I desire with hard work and dedication. I’ve also learned that anyone can be successful starting their business from the ground up without attending college and the pressure of getting a 9 to 5 job working for someone else. 

One word.

Grateful.

I am grateful that this pandemic has allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and change my mindset around the “new normal.”  

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

That was not the sound of my alarm. This time, that was the sound of my wake-up call. That was the sound of finding a purpose in my new reality.